Why Your Brain May Be Sabotaging Your Future

Hi there! I’m so glad you’re here.

Today, I want to share an insight that’s been transformational in both my thought patterns and those of many of the clients I’ve worked with. It has to do with something that happens to all of us, but we rarely notice it.

The catchy term trending today is “self-sabotage,” but really, it’s just survival instincts. Since caveman times, our brains have been wired for survival and against anything unknown. 

You might think that your brain wants you happy. Nope. It wants you alive. It doesn’t care if you’re happy, fulfilled, joyful, or miserable. It just wants you to be safe, defined as still breathing and all your organs functioning. 

It’s neuroscience, but if you don’t understand what’s going on with you unconsciously, it’s hard to recognize when those survival instincts are helpful versus hurtful, especially if you’ve ever dealt with trauma, which is many of us.

The Science of Survival

As backward as it may sound, our survival instincts are why so many of us stay in dangerous situations or environments, or keep going back to those who have hurt us. From a purely biological standpoint, you survived that experience, at least so far, so it must be safer than the unknown that comes with doing something else, like healing.

When anything changes in your environment, your fight-or-flight amygdala looks at the new stimulus as danger, danger, danger! So, when you try to leave an environment where you actually were in danger, the new, healthier, calmer space isn’t just scary — it’s terrifying.

Talking Yourself Out of Happiness

What’s on the other side? You don’t know.

So, your brain triggers a response that releases stress hormones that effectively sabotage your chance at something better. You start thinking things like, “I’m not worthy of these good things,” or “I can’t do this,” or “Who do I think I am reaching for bigger goals?” And you start to shrink back into old patterns, like abuse, or chaos, or distraction.

The more often you do this, the more ingrained into your brain’s natural response those old patterns become. Eventually, it’s like mowing one path in a lawn, over and over and over… it isn’t helpful, and it might even destroy the grass, but it’s the only direction you know how to go.

Rewiring Those Paths

But the good news is that patterns in your brain can be rewired. You don’t need to stay in a self-sabotaging, negative neural loop where you can’t break free into a better, healthier space.

However, it takes consistency, time, and support. You may find yourself repeating old patterns, but with help and understanding of what’s going on in your body, you can give yourself compassion and a kick in the butt to get out of those old spaces that don’t serve you anymore. 

I always tell my clients to focus on the three Rs of self-sabotage, which we work on through strategies, of course, because it isn’t always easy: 

• Recognize when your brain’s survival mode is outdated. 

• Rewire your neural pathways. 

• Rewrite that neural loop. And stop the pattern of self-sabotage. 

It doesn’t have to be your life’s story. It’s time to stop mowing the same path. Something better waits in the unknown.